In my bedroom, I had this cheap plexiglass indoor-only window to the living room. After an hour of working with tissue paper and spray adhesive, I now have a janky stained glass window and a lung condition!
Inspired by Brad Vetter prints.
peaches and beer.
The first of maybe many of these posts.
So I was reading through the stack of discount cookbooks I got at a nearly and dearly departed Borders, and this dude from Plenty (SO GOOD, already made the cover photo of eggplant with buttermilk sauce and it was a B+ on presentation, A- on taste) was going on and on about POACHED FRUIT. Poached fruit, as it turns out, is usually poached in wine but my shelf in the communal pantry is most def a beer shelf. WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO. [Warning: title contains spoiler alerts.]
Poach that summer fruit in BEER.
One recipe I read called for sort of a spicy-sweet sauce, so I mixed a bottle of kind of peppery and cinnamon-y Goose Island Pepe Nero with vanilla, black pepper, sugar, some orange zest, and water, and here’s the key part: you can’t just drink this straight and call it a day. Oh shit, right? Hold up. Basically this is the sauce. You cook peeled peaches and plums in this sauce for 15-20 minutes until they’re delicious, and then for the boss level, you can keep reducing the liquid for another 15 minutes or so over low heat until it’s syrupy and caramelized, and then you GET THIS:
not a food stylist, how did you know.
poached peaches in beer with caramelized beer sauce + mascarpone (my kingdom for the person who can teach me to say this right). The beer sauce was the real winner here, by the way. I’ll figure out a way to make knockoff bourbon ice cream and make boozy ice cream sundaes.
ALSO CHECK OUT THOSE COST PLUS BABY RAMEKINS, WHAT UPPPPP.
A NIGHTSTAND TABLE DIY, by emily.
1. Order table legs online.
2. Try to order wood online too with your not-yet-defunct free student Amazon Prime account. Defer judgment on lumber orders after second thoughts. Get your ass to a Home Depot. Somehow cart a huge thing of lumber home on the bus.
3. Stain and cut wood to look baller and not splinter-y.
4. Wash goo off of hairpin legs. Be grossed out.
5. Attach legs to wood without power tools. Bitch about not owning power tools loudly and often enough that your boss offers to lend you his. Success.
6. Admire table and feel superior. as. fuck.
falafel + waffle iron = FAWAFFLE.
Inspired by this fawaffle, but made from scratch, with a recipe inspired by the Appetite for Reduction baked falafel. This meant no egg/egg replacement, more spices, a bit of hot sauce, and more water to make the batter mushy rather than crumbly so it could waffleize.
*tahini lemon “syrup” (tahini, lemon juice/zest, garlic, water, spice) not pictured
Things I’ve Learned in College in Chart Form, Part II.
The Credibility Camel phenomenon - When presenting a mock product or solution in class, the audience of peers will always ask questions about implementation and feasibility. The number and intensity of questions is directly connected to the level of technology present in the solution yet that relationship is not addressed in the questions.
Example:
- 100% analog/No technology: “Seems legit. No problems here.”
- Website without a mobile/app presence: “Okay, I see some serious issues…”
- Website with mobile/app presence: “Seems okay.”
- Technology that will likely be possible in 6-18 months (e.g.g accessing point-of-sale data through credit card purchases): “THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN, I JUST DON’T SEE HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE.”
- Technology far off in the future (Flawless audio-based natural language processing and translation/civilian jet packs): “Brilliant. Seems legit. No issues here.”
In my spare time, I make passive-aggressive propaganda to keep the kitchen clean.
DIY FRAICHE YOGURT BAR TOO.
WELCOME TO MY CRUNCHY-GRANOLA-AS-FUCK SLAV STUDY BREAK. The soy-free vegan frozen yogurt is over on the right.
HUMMUS BAR STUDY BREAK FOR THE HOUSE!!!
In order of goodness/deliberation while making them:
1. Sun-dried tomato + red bell peper
2. Olive + parsley + red bell pepper
3. UBER GARLIC.
Everyone knows how to make hummus right? Blender (not food processor - make it creamy!) + can of chickpeas, drained (reserve the water just in caseeee) + a little more tahini than olive oil + juice of 1/2-1 lemon + couple cloves of garlic + paprika, cumin, salt, and pepper + MIXINS.
I screwed up and added in a jar of red bell pepper to the base, so everything was a little bell peppery last night. DIY pita chips toooo.
turning this to a food blog.
in which I am a better cook than photographer so I recruit my friends to photograph.
NOT FOCUSED PHOTOS, GOOD SANDWICH. I GOT MY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.
Roasted mushroom, goat cheese, and black bean tortas!
photos + recipe + PRO TIPS + MORE…
Used mini-sandwich rolls rather than bollilo rolls and store-bought salsa so can’t victory lap too much but LOOK AT THOSE MUSHROOMS and the side of braised kale:
Rounded it out with 12 year old scotch, vino verde, and DIY coffee ice cream (vanilla ice cream + iced Phil’z Coffee + truffle shavings CAUSE SLAV DON’T GO HALFWAY).
Inspired by Serious Eats/Rick Bayliss of Top Chef. Let me break it down for you.
- Slice 8 oz. of shiitake mushrooms and 16 oz. of cremini and baby bella mushrooms (same thing? Maybe?). Mince 2-3 cloves of garlic and toss them in there. Toss these mushrooms in 4 tablespoons of lime juice and 2-4 tablespoons of olive oil.
- Dump this mixture into a smallish pan and cover with aluminum foil. Roast for about 15 minutes at 400 degrees. After 15 minutes, remove the foil and roast for another 30-45 minutes until it looks and smells awesome.
- While this is all happening, mash up one can of black beans with 2 minced cloves of garlic and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Set aside.
- Braise kale with one chopped white onion cause you’re bored. Let helpers take photos of the sides while you wait.
- Check on dem mushrooms. Once they’re ready, toss in some chopped cilantro and extra lemon juice. Accept money and booze in exchange for the promise of a meal. Laphroaig scotch will do.
- CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR MAKING A MEAL WITHOUT A WINE SAUCE. Wine to celebrate.
- Scrape out some bread from the sliced rolls to make mini soup bowl things.
- Pop a spoonful of black beans and a tong-full of mushrooms in the bottom half of a roll and spread goat cheese and salsa on the top half. Pop both halves under the broiler for 5 minutes. Remove and stuff arugula in between both halves. NICE.
- Enjoy remaining mushrooms in omelets and sandwiches the next morning.
sugar induced victory lap
WELCOME TO MY AWESOME FOOD WEEKEND; LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND.
better check your lease cause you’re living in CUPCAKE CITY.
Carrot Cake Cupcakes (#12) with g-d carrot, walnut, and raisin garnish, plus Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes with 2-3x the recommended amount of booze across the board. SATURDAY = BAKING DAY with Alexander and Ali, just like in Little House on the Prairie.
(May I call your attention to the direction that has you mix a cup of chocolate stout with two sticks of melted butter and 1.5 cups of cocoa? POUR IT OVER ICE, I’M DONE.)
Okay, backtrack back to Friday night when I kicked it off with BOLANI AND LENTIL CURRY. (Artist’s interpretation depicted above). May I never leave California so I never have to be far away from this vendor. Oh yeah and some Maui Coconut Porter.
Skip my breakfast smoothie on Saturday cause that freaks people out and move right along to Cuban food for Steph’s birthday, with drinks and plantain chips and fried goat cheese and some black bean burger thing that (SPOILER ALERT) I totally ate again this afternoon. Kick it over to the dueling whiskey/whisky component of the evening (you’ve made your choice, spell check, who claims “whisky” is not spelled right).
finish off my baking bonanza with THESE THINGS. SO MANY OF THESE HOMEMADE PEANUT BUTTER CUP THINGS, none of them as beautiful as the photo ones, but what of it, cause some of them are ALMOND BUTTER, like oh you fancy huh (oh you real fancy? should I try it with hazelnut butter? only when i am rich). Only by the grace of bike-less-ness did I not return to the California Ave. market to kill some more bolani Sunday morning.
god help me, I think I’m making handmade ravioli tonight. IMMA DIE. OF JOY.
Spent a good 5 minutes at work today trying to like this on facebook to no avail. New project: making a facebook page and becoming “social media and strategy associate.”
Also:
“8 pages of black-and-white illustrations.”
WHAT UP.
