peaches and beer.

The first of maybe many of these posts.

So I was reading through the stack of discount cookbooks I got at a nearly and dearly departed Borders, and this dude from Plenty (SO GOOD, already made the cover photo of eggplant with buttermilk sauce and it was a B+ on presentation, A- on taste) was going on and on about POACHED FRUIT. Poached fruit, as it turns out, is usually poached in wine but my shelf in the communal pantry is most def a beer shelf. WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO. [Warning: title contains spoiler alerts.]

Poach that summer fruit in BEER. 

One recipe I read called for sort of a spicy-sweet sauce, so I mixed a bottle of kind of peppery and cinnamon-y Goose Island Pepe Nero with vanilla, black pepper, sugar, some orange zest, and water, and here’s the key part: you can’t just drink this straight and call it a day. Oh shit, right? Hold up. Basically this is the sauce. You cook peeled peaches and plums in this sauce for 15-20 minutes until they’re delicious, and then for the boss level, you can keep reducing the liquid for another 15 minutes or so over low heat until it’s syrupy and caramelized, and then you GET THIS:

not a food stylist, how did you know.

poached peaches in beer with caramelized beer sauce + mascarpone (my kingdom for the person who can teach me to say this right). The beer sauce was the real winner here, by the way. I’ll figure out a way to make knockoff bourbon ice cream and make boozy ice cream sundaes.

ALSO CHECK OUT THOSE COST PLUS BABY RAMEKINS, WHAT UPPPPP.

six almost posts on three weeks in a new city/job.

1. Potential new blog/new blog direction: THE CAPSLOCKED CHEF: conveying the GLEE and DRAMA of cooking the only way I know how. Or some food blog where I find veg pairings for beers and wine.

2. Follow up: I do have what might be the first entry of THE CAPSLOCKED CHEF, but it  effectively became an ode to my food processor (what a QT) in which I discuss a) how you can make hummus/pesto, b) how to be the laziest kid on the block and use it to chop up vegetables, c) the g-d wizardry that happens when you freeze and then blend chopped up fruit like mango (tastes like ICE CREAM if you add some almond milk and honey. Member of the FKC and have some $$$ to blow? COCONUT MILK.) 

3. FREE FOOD, SCOOTERS, PRIMARY COLORS, CORPSPEAK, ALL INTERNET MEMES ALL THE TIME, EXCLAMATION POINTSSSS. But seriously, work’s going well.

4. I want to be the sort of person who is crafty and builds things yet I am not the sort of person who is crafty and builds things, so that just means I have a lot of bookmarked DIYs, angst, and conversations with Home Depot employees in which they give me pep talks about how I can totally handle building a bookcase without tools, proper ventilation, or my dad. LET’S DO THIS.

5. Chicago in July f-ed my leaky apartment’s ish UP. Not pictured: power line exploding into flames outside our house, Michael Bay style, while my roommates and I flee with our MacBooks to safety.

6. Project: Find a bike to call my own. Problem: I don’t know anything about bikes. Solution: Skulking around Wicker Park and Ukrainian Village, sketching out all cyclists and checking out all parked bikes, all “ooooh I just want to let you know your bike is awesome what kind of frame is it what is it called do you like it where can I find it where can i find it where can I find it.” 

turning this to a food blog.

in which I am a better cook than photographer so I recruit my friends to photograph.

NOT FOCUSED PHOTOS, GOOD SANDWICH. I GOT MY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.

Roasted mushroom, goat cheese, and black bean tortas!

photos + recipe + PRO TIPS + MORE…

Used mini-sandwich rolls rather than bollilo rolls and store-bought salsa so can’t victory lap too much but LOOK AT THOSE MUSHROOMS and the side of braised kale:

Rounded it out with 12 year old scotch, vino verde, and DIY coffee ice cream (vanilla ice cream + iced Phil’z Coffee + truffle shavings CAUSE SLAV DON’T GO HALFWAY).

Inspired by Serious Eats/Rick Bayliss of Top Chef. Let me break it down for you.

1. Slice 8 oz. of shiitake mushrooms and 16 oz. of cremini and baby bella mushrooms (same thing? Maybe?). Mince 2-3 cloves of garlic and toss them in there. Toss these mushrooms in 4 tablespoons of lime juice and 2-4 tablespoons of olive oil.
2. Dump this mixture into a smallish pan and cover with aluminum foil. Roast for about 15 minutes at 400 degrees. After 15 minutes, remove the foil and roast for another 30-45 minutes until it looks and smells awesome.
3. While this is all happening, mash up one can of black beans with 2 minced cloves of garlic and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Set aside.
4. Braise kale with one chopped white onion cause you’re bored. Let helpers take photos of the sides while you wait.
5. Check on dem mushrooms. Once they’re ready, toss in some chopped cilantro and extra lemon juice. Accept money and booze in exchange for the promise of a meal. Laphroaig scotch will do.
6. CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR MAKING A MEAL WITHOUT A WINE SAUCE. Wine to celebrate.
7. Scrape out some bread from the sliced rolls to make mini soup bowl things.
8. Pop a spoonful of black beans and a tong-full of mushrooms in the bottom half of a roll and spread goat cheese and salsa on the top half. Pop both halves under the broiler for 5 minutes. Remove and stuff arugula in between both halves. NICE.
9. Enjoy remaining mushrooms in omelets and sandwiches the next morning.

sugar induced victory lap

WELCOME TO MY AWESOME FOOD WEEKEND; LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND.

better check your lease cause you’re living in CUPCAKE CITY.

Carrot Cake Cupcakes (#12) with g-d carrot, walnut, and raisin garnish, plus Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes with 2-3x the recommended amount of booze across the board. SATURDAY = BAKING DAY with Alexander and Ali, just like in Little House on the Prairie.

(May I call your attention to the direction that has you mix a cup of chocolate stout with two sticks of melted butter and 1.5 cups of cocoa? POUR IT OVER ICE, I’M DONE.)

Okay, backtrack back to Friday night when I kicked it off with BOLANI AND LENTIL CURRY. (Artist’s interpretation depicted above). May I never leave California so I never have to be far away from this vendor. Oh yeah and some Maui Coconut Porter.

Skip my breakfast smoothie on Saturday cause that freaks people out and move right along to Cuban food for Steph’s birthday, with drinks and plantain chips and fried goat cheese and some black bean burger thing that (SPOILER ALERT) I totally ate again this afternoon. Kick it over to the dueling whiskey/whisky component of the evening (you’ve made your choice, spell check, who claims “whisky” is not spelled right).

finish off my baking bonanza with THESE THINGS. SO MANY OF THESE HOMEMADE PEANUT BUTTER CUP THINGS, none of them as beautiful as the photo ones, but what of it, cause some of them are ALMOND BUTTER, like oh you fancy huh (oh you real fancy? should I try it with hazelnut butter? only when i am rich). Only by the grace of bike-less-ness did I not return to the California Ave. market to kill some more bolani Sunday morning.

god help me, I think I’m making handmade ravioli tonight. IMMA DIE. OF JOY.

ON HITTING MY PEAK AT 21 YEARS OF AGE.

You ready for this? SINGLE BEST THING I HAVE EVER MADE: Spinach and chickpeas but with homemade tomato sauce. Even made an extra spinach and strawberry salad, making it a DELICIOUS MEAL.

LET ME BREAK DOWN THE STEPS FOR YOU.

1. Buy the groceries.

Shopping for groceries in Dresden/Germany in general is like a Zelda level cause you need to go to, like, four different stores to collect what you need all before they close ridiculously early and they all stock different things, so my evening was like, ATM (no credit cards ever here, what up, cash based economy) to hole-in-the-wall veggie stand for spinach, then German-style Whole Foods-ish place for quinoa and sea salt and the lol hippie-watching, Spätkauf (lit. “late purchase,” one of the top 5 things I will miss about Germany - amazing convenience stores that sell only booze and candy and are the only things consistently open past 10pm) for wine, sketchy discount grocery store for garlic/onions and element of danger, Indian market for chickpeas, flat bread, and other veg stuff. All places close by eight (4pm on Saturdays), none are open on Sundays ever. All measurements are in metric/weight units rather than my recipes’ US/volume units. LET’S DO THIS.

2. Soak the beans and cook for an hour or two. Sautee the onions and fry the bread and wilt the spinach. Do all that on a GAS STOVE with a GAS OVEN that almost KILLED ME with its OPEN FLAMES (high five, internet! thanks!)

3. Bonus round: roommates + guests kept removing pans from heat to use the flame to light cigarettes/almost light their hair on fire, so this was really a team effort.

4. Mix up a few of the spices and add extra basil all over the place.

5. It’s the single best dish you’ve ever made.

I feel like how parents feel when they see their newborn for the first time in the hospital and they are like I HAVE MADE THIS, IT IS OF ME, OUT OF THE ETHER I HAVE CREATED IT and they love it unconditionally upon first sight even though the kid has done nothing for them and just sort of sits there all messy and covered in goo. That is like me, with this tupperware container of spinach and chickpeas. The goo is tomato sauce, by the way. Imagine a soft focus montage of me standing in my kitchen eating a bowl of this over the sink while R. Kelly’s “The World’s Greatest” plays in the background, because that’s basically what it was like.

Food blog project/Chickpea Watch 2k10/EMILY’S ALL CAPS BLOG OF INTENSITY continues, apparently.